Well, its been over a month since we got the keys to the house, and well, lets just day were still living out of boxes. We've officially been kiving here for just over a week and a half, and still nothing is done! And the reason for that is that im the only one that has been doing anything towards unpacking because my fiance has been at work 'constantly'. I put that in brackets because even on the days off he's had, he's not actually done much! I've done most of the unpacking and washing of clothes (because the clean got mixed up with the dirty when we moved and now were not sure whats what...) Thank goodness for a tumble drier...
On to other matters, well, work sucks as per normal for me. I'm still trying for my promotion, as much as i ask for my exam, im still not getting a chance to take it... The shifts have been so long winded recently, that im not getting enough sleep and its just getting a little too much for me. Things are starting to spiral out of control for me in all walks of life.
I have had a problem with depression before, which i did see a 'counciller' at college for, and i thought that i had got over everything, but recently, over the past few months, for some reason everything is starting to boil over again, I mean, yes, i have just bought my first house, i have a loving fiance, and i luckily have a secure job, but for some reason, thoughts are starting to creep back into my head.
I'm starting to feel vunerable to anyone that raises their voice at me, i don't like being alone, yet when im in a group i feel overwhelmed, i can't concentrate on anything to well (so far this has taken me 2 hours to write, which proves that point.), i just start crying randomly, i can't sleep, i dont wanna eat, im smoking more just for something to do (when i'm trying to quit), and i just feel like i, well, i can't describe it, but i feel like i worthless and, well you get the idea. I dont know if this is going to help me, writing all this down for people to see, even people i don't know, but well, we'll see won't we. God, i can't belive i just put all that there...
Hmm, well, i don't feel any better yet, maybe tomorrow...
Well, I better go, i gotta be up about 6 for work at 7, so speak soon, and hopefully it wont be as long before i write again...
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Friday, 7 August 2009
Keys
So we have our keys! YAY!!!
And thankfully he seems to be more bothered about the move. He has actually got a week off towards the end of the month, so we will be able to move everything over to the new house! YAY!!! Can't wait! We moved a few boxes in yesterday, and will be moving a few boxes every so often, so that when it comes to that last week, all we will have to move is our furniture.
I have been looking on the internet for a blessing/protection spell for the new house. I would have prefered to look through my books but alas there packed away and i think are now at the new house! lol I have got the herbs all sorted out, but i need to write my own ritual for it, as i dont want to use the one that i found as its too long and complicated! lol And i really don't have a long concentration... Oh look a squirrel... lol :D
Anyways, what else, well, i am suffering quite badly with a cold, however, I will have to keep my eye on my condition, as i am showing many symptoms of 'Pig Flu' (oink), and seen as some people at work have already had it, it could be a possibility! :( I am currently sniffling, coughing, have a headache, i was freezing in bed last night, but according to my other half i was burning up plus i have lost my appetite and i am so tired too! :( I'm trying to decide if i should go into work, or stay at home and sleep it all off tomorrow. But then again, I need to work so I have enough money after paying the deposit! :( I don't know, i'll see how i feel.
Anyways, better head off, im gunna try and eat something, even though i don't feel like it.. MIght have rice pudding, thats always good on the throat! :)
Byes!
And thankfully he seems to be more bothered about the move. He has actually got a week off towards the end of the month, so we will be able to move everything over to the new house! YAY!!! Can't wait! We moved a few boxes in yesterday, and will be moving a few boxes every so often, so that when it comes to that last week, all we will have to move is our furniture.
I have been looking on the internet for a blessing/protection spell for the new house. I would have prefered to look through my books but alas there packed away and i think are now at the new house! lol I have got the herbs all sorted out, but i need to write my own ritual for it, as i dont want to use the one that i found as its too long and complicated! lol And i really don't have a long concentration... Oh look a squirrel... lol :D
Anyways, what else, well, i am suffering quite badly with a cold, however, I will have to keep my eye on my condition, as i am showing many symptoms of 'Pig Flu' (oink), and seen as some people at work have already had it, it could be a possibility! :( I am currently sniffling, coughing, have a headache, i was freezing in bed last night, but according to my other half i was burning up plus i have lost my appetite and i am so tired too! :( I'm trying to decide if i should go into work, or stay at home and sleep it all off tomorrow. But then again, I need to work so I have enough money after paying the deposit! :( I don't know, i'll see how i feel.
Anyways, better head off, im gunna try and eat something, even though i don't feel like it.. MIght have rice pudding, thats always good on the throat! :)
Byes!
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Great...
So we get our keys for our new house tomorrow...
But, we will not be moving in. Why i hear you ask...
Well, to put it bluntly, My fiance doesn't seem to care about when we move, and doesnt care when he's gunna be able to get time off to move our furniture... and, he doesnt seem to care that we will have to pay TWO lots of rent/mortgage in ONE month which will be about £900, if we dont hand our notice in at the renting agency soon as possible as i wanted to have handed it in by the the monday just gone so we could be out cleanly at the end of the month, but because he hasnt bothered to ask if he can have time off to do the move, we will be eating into September, which means that we will have to possible pay some of Septembers rent, which is more money down the drain... Great...
I'm just thinking about going straight over his head and handing in our notice for the end of the month and asking his brother to help me on one of my days off to move all the furniture, like he offered.
So if im gunna do that, i must pack some more stuff away, as I want this move to go smoothly, but if his attitude carries on, then his move is gunna be a nightmare...
But, we will not be moving in. Why i hear you ask...
Well, to put it bluntly, My fiance doesn't seem to care about when we move, and doesnt care when he's gunna be able to get time off to move our furniture... and, he doesnt seem to care that we will have to pay TWO lots of rent/mortgage in ONE month which will be about £900, if we dont hand our notice in at the renting agency soon as possible as i wanted to have handed it in by the the monday just gone so we could be out cleanly at the end of the month, but because he hasnt bothered to ask if he can have time off to do the move, we will be eating into September, which means that we will have to possible pay some of Septembers rent, which is more money down the drain... Great...
I'm just thinking about going straight over his head and handing in our notice for the end of the month and asking his brother to help me on one of my days off to move all the furniture, like he offered.
So if im gunna do that, i must pack some more stuff away, as I want this move to go smoothly, but if his attitude carries on, then his move is gunna be a nightmare...
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Gosh!
I forgot i had this thing...
Well, What has been happening in the past few months...
Well, I've bought a house with my fiance. We get the keys on Thursday, and I can't wait. Wasn't expecting to move in to quickly, so were not all packed up at our current house, but hey, I'm not complaining. :)
I'm working my way up the promotional ladder at work, just need to pass my exam, which im waiting to sit as i failed by practice, but im not worried about it...
Went on holiday to Canada and the USA, in May to visit all my relatives that live out there! It was really nice to see everyone, and really nice to travel around Lake Michigan (I apologise if i have spelt that wrong :P). I was the first time I visited Canada since my Grandma died and we took some of her ashes to scatter them at Niagara Falls, which was almost 6 years ago now. It was nice to isit Niagara again, and spend sometime thinking about all the good times that me and my family had spent with my Grandma, before she got ill, and passed away. My fiance came with us, and really enjoyed being out of the country as he's never been on a plane, let alone really out of the country. It was also nice to see the part of my family that immigrated a few years ago, but since they have moved, my little cousin has become quite a handful and he seems to never listen to what anyone has to say and does what ever he wants, and when he doesn't get it... You guessed it, kicks off and screams etc... Rather them than me is all I can say...
What else?
Erm, Well, seen as things have been pretty hectic over the past few months, i have been a bit over loaded with things, and well, my studing of all things pagan took a back seat... I havent picked up a single book, read any articles online etc, which has upset me a little as i feel that everything I have learnt before has just left my head and I remember nothing, and it kinda makes me feel like it was a waste of time, but not a waste of time (if you know what i mean) but once i have moved into my new house, i feel that this will enable me to pick up my books again and surf the net to gather information and help fill my head with all sorts of goodies!
I have also started to catch up with all my podcasts as i haven't listened to a single one in a few months, and all the new podcasts since February have build up on all the back podcasts that I had previously downloaded, and now I have almost 400 podcasts to listen to, some of which I have really missed listening to, such as The Ipod Witch, The Edge of the Circle, Geek Witch, A Pagan Heart In Maine... I will catch up with all of these, which will take me quite a while, but I am determined! :D
Anyways, that is it really, nothing much has happened in the past few months, or if it has, I can't actually remember anything, or it wasnt really that important! Lol
Anyways, this is definately it for now...
Blessed Be...
Well, What has been happening in the past few months...
Well, I've bought a house with my fiance. We get the keys on Thursday, and I can't wait. Wasn't expecting to move in to quickly, so were not all packed up at our current house, but hey, I'm not complaining. :)
I'm working my way up the promotional ladder at work, just need to pass my exam, which im waiting to sit as i failed by practice, but im not worried about it...
Went on holiday to Canada and the USA, in May to visit all my relatives that live out there! It was really nice to see everyone, and really nice to travel around Lake Michigan (I apologise if i have spelt that wrong :P). I was the first time I visited Canada since my Grandma died and we took some of her ashes to scatter them at Niagara Falls, which was almost 6 years ago now. It was nice to isit Niagara again, and spend sometime thinking about all the good times that me and my family had spent with my Grandma, before she got ill, and passed away. My fiance came with us, and really enjoyed being out of the country as he's never been on a plane, let alone really out of the country. It was also nice to see the part of my family that immigrated a few years ago, but since they have moved, my little cousin has become quite a handful and he seems to never listen to what anyone has to say and does what ever he wants, and when he doesn't get it... You guessed it, kicks off and screams etc... Rather them than me is all I can say...
What else?
Erm, Well, seen as things have been pretty hectic over the past few months, i have been a bit over loaded with things, and well, my studing of all things pagan took a back seat... I havent picked up a single book, read any articles online etc, which has upset me a little as i feel that everything I have learnt before has just left my head and I remember nothing, and it kinda makes me feel like it was a waste of time, but not a waste of time (if you know what i mean) but once i have moved into my new house, i feel that this will enable me to pick up my books again and surf the net to gather information and help fill my head with all sorts of goodies!
I have also started to catch up with all my podcasts as i haven't listened to a single one in a few months, and all the new podcasts since February have build up on all the back podcasts that I had previously downloaded, and now I have almost 400 podcasts to listen to, some of which I have really missed listening to, such as The Ipod Witch, The Edge of the Circle, Geek Witch, A Pagan Heart In Maine... I will catch up with all of these, which will take me quite a while, but I am determined! :D
Anyways, that is it really, nothing much has happened in the past few months, or if it has, I can't actually remember anything, or it wasnt really that important! Lol
Anyways, this is definately it for now...
Blessed Be...
Saturday, 14 February 2009
The ramblings of a tired girl...
Well, as the title suggests. I'm absolutely tired, Was on a 6 until 2 am at work last night, and have a 4.45 until 2am tonight, and its really taking it outta me, so if things don't make sence well, its tough luck! lol
Well, as its Valentine's today, love is in the air... But, because of stupid scheduling, i haven't seen my other half properly since thursday night, and i wont until sunday night. :( which means that our Valentines day will be on Sunday, if we can be bothered.
And, my Birthday is on tuesday, and well, im not expecting anything, or even a happy birthday from some people. Its not that i want lots of presents, but the past few years, i've had no happy birthdays from anyone apart from family, and i remember all my friends etc and buy them presents, nothing much, but just to know i think of them etc. But meh, enough of that! lol
What else can i tell you all, well, my mum has had her operation,
Well, as its Valentine's today, love is in the air... But, because of stupid scheduling, i haven't seen my other half properly since thursday night, and i wont until sunday night. :( which means that our Valentines day will be on Sunday, if we can be bothered.
And, my Birthday is on tuesday, and well, im not expecting anything, or even a happy birthday from some people. Its not that i want lots of presents, but the past few years, i've had no happy birthdays from anyone apart from family, and i remember all my friends etc and buy them presents, nothing much, but just to know i think of them etc. But meh, enough of that! lol
What else can i tell you all, well, my mum has had her operation,
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Sixth Post
Well, the 10 hour shift, on tuesday, turned into a 12 hour shift. And i was blooming knackered afterwards. Ended up finishing at 3am, after starting at 3pm... And today, I start at 7pm and will be finishing at 3am... Not nice... :(
But it means on my way back home, i can take a peaceful walk through by the river and try to find a nice stick or twig that i can turn into my wand, as i have been looking like forever, but because i've either been too tired to look, to annoyed with work to bother looking, or i've been with other people, its been impossible, but i think i will look tonight, unless, unfortunatly i am really tired, which i can see it happening. :( Well, at least i got tomorrow off because of that.
I'll be losing a bit of money, but i need an extra day off for once to catch up on sleep, but i doubt that will happen. I can sort out my witchy stuff too tomorrow, as i have a box full of herbs, crystals and stuff, but it all needs labelling, and sorting out. And seen as i couldn't do it last year, i am following along with the book Wicca: A Year and A Day. Its a book that gives you little 'exercises' every day of the year to help you learn along the craft, which ideally you should start on the 2nd February, at Imbolc. Which is propably the best time for me to start it, which is good!
Oh, and its my birthday next month, and i will be 23! :) Funny thing is, i feel older than i am, but i don't know why. But meh, maybe i'll grow in to it! lol
Anyways, i must go now, gunna have a nap before work, or maybe catch up on more Podcasts.
Speak later!
But it means on my way back home, i can take a peaceful walk through by the river and try to find a nice stick or twig that i can turn into my wand, as i have been looking like forever, but because i've either been too tired to look, to annoyed with work to bother looking, or i've been with other people, its been impossible, but i think i will look tonight, unless, unfortunatly i am really tired, which i can see it happening. :( Well, at least i got tomorrow off because of that.
I'll be losing a bit of money, but i need an extra day off for once to catch up on sleep, but i doubt that will happen. I can sort out my witchy stuff too tomorrow, as i have a box full of herbs, crystals and stuff, but it all needs labelling, and sorting out. And seen as i couldn't do it last year, i am following along with the book Wicca: A Year and A Day. Its a book that gives you little 'exercises' every day of the year to help you learn along the craft, which ideally you should start on the 2nd February, at Imbolc. Which is propably the best time for me to start it, which is good!
Oh, and its my birthday next month, and i will be 23! :) Funny thing is, i feel older than i am, but i don't know why. But meh, maybe i'll grow in to it! lol
Anyways, i must go now, gunna have a nap before work, or maybe catch up on more Podcasts.
Speak later!
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Fifth Post
Well, i thought i would write another post before leaving for work.
The past week has been quite busy, The late night openings at work start this week, and im on shift on the second day late shift... Not looking forward to that... 7pm until 3am... I wasn't even asked to do it or volunteer like the people who wanted to do it (and not many have been given them), and when i told the manager that i wasn't happy about it he didnt seem bothered. Oh well...
Well, what else have i got to say...
Catching up on my Podcasts a lot the past few days... I have many Pagan podcasts and a few others as i mentioned before! I find all of the one's i have very interesting and even entertaining, especially when the rambles start (mentioning no names... *cough*Brook!*cough* :) ). They have also helped me learn alot more about the Craft, and i appreciate it very much! Thanks Guys! :D
Anyways, what else? Been tidying the house a lot, well, when i say a lot... I mean, a lot of days... but not much each day... I'm so useless! :( I try tidying but then my other half gets carried away looking at something or watching TV and then i get annoyed and give up! lol Lame excuse I know, but i will be doing more on Wednesday! Gotta clean out the Rabbit and Gerbil's too, before they start to smell the house out!
Well, must go, gotta finish listening to my Podcasts and get ready for work! 10 hour shift... Not nice :( oh well!
The past week has been quite busy, The late night openings at work start this week, and im on shift on the second day late shift... Not looking forward to that... 7pm until 3am... I wasn't even asked to do it or volunteer like the people who wanted to do it (and not many have been given them), and when i told the manager that i wasn't happy about it he didnt seem bothered. Oh well...
Well, what else have i got to say...
Catching up on my Podcasts a lot the past few days... I have many Pagan podcasts and a few others as i mentioned before! I find all of the one's i have very interesting and even entertaining, especially when the rambles start (mentioning no names... *cough*Brook!*cough* :) ). They have also helped me learn alot more about the Craft, and i appreciate it very much! Thanks Guys! :D
Anyways, what else? Been tidying the house a lot, well, when i say a lot... I mean, a lot of days... but not much each day... I'm so useless! :( I try tidying but then my other half gets carried away looking at something or watching TV and then i get annoyed and give up! lol Lame excuse I know, but i will be doing more on Wednesday! Gotta clean out the Rabbit and Gerbil's too, before they start to smell the house out!
Well, must go, gotta finish listening to my Podcasts and get ready for work! 10 hour shift... Not nice :( oh well!
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